Who Am I?
by It is illogical
Summary: Ok! These are meant to be one shots. Snapshots of different parts of one film or varied mixed with other things I like. I don't know how many there will be, but as long as I am having fun, the more I will do. Here's the first. ;)
1. Chapter 1

Levi stood alone in the graveyard. Stoneheads lined up, engraved on them the names of his former squad. A breeze blew through the yard, leaves dancing around his feet. Coat billowing.

_No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, the ones I __tolerate will always be the ones who pay. _

His gaze that falls upon the gravestones is emotionless. An emotionally drained woman walks up to place a hand on his shoulder, he turns. Hanji is there.

"You must miss them so much."

"It's been so different without them."

"There's something I've been wanting to tell you." He looks at her steadily. "When we were out there and I thought I was gonna die. There was only one person I was thinking of." His expression didn't change. "And I've gotta be honest, I wasn't what I expected. It was you, Levi." His deadpan expression changes by a fraction as he raises an eyebrow. "I kept thinkin, I hope I make it through this, so I can see Levi's face one more time." Her hand comes up to rest on his face, he doesn't move.

"Really?" It may seem emotionless, but who can tell, he's so damn hard to read.

"There's only been one man who's always told the truth about my weirdness, but made me feel like that's Ok, 'cause your weird too and that's just what I'm lookin for. The truth is, I love you." His expression slightly twitches. "Oh, c'mere you little freak!" She kisses him passionately. His mask falters and maybe, possibly, if you slowed it down by one million; freeze framed it, then zoomed in by one thousand you could probably see him enjoying it.

All I wanted was to tell her to brush her fucking teeth. (Maybe the love thing too? Yes, no, maybe?)

"I can't." Hanji looks into his face, clearly feeling a little ya know (cough cough, nudge nudge.) flustered shall we say, from the kiss, but also a little dejected.

"You can't what?"

"Everything. There's so much to tell."

"Yeah, there's so much to tell."

"I want you to know, that I will always be there for you. That I will always be there to take care of you, I promise you that. I will always be your friend."

"Just a friend. Levi whatever your last name is."

"It's all I have to give."

A single tear makes it's way down Hanji's cheek. Levi walks away. Hanji stops, she feels as though she recognizes those lips. Hold the fuck up, she turns to watch Levi.

_Whatever life holds in store for me, I will never forget these words. With great power comes great responsibility. This is my gift my curse. Who Am I?_ Levi sighs. _Fuck my life. _

_I'm Spider-Man._


	2. Chapter 2

Levi in his skin tight Spider suit, stood stock still as he watched The Green Goblin let go of Hanji and the tram full of his cleaning products. The Goblin laughed manically as he saw Levi hesitate.

Hanji screamed as she fell, between her and the cleaning products she knew she was screwed.

Memories of his time together with his products flashed before his eyes. Is this really the time for flashbacks, perhaps not, but what the heck. They had had good times together, they had gotten each other out of some messes. He remembered the time when his trusty mop and some bleach had cleaned an unspeakably dirty bathroom, he remembered the smell of disinfectant, Oh and there was that time that he had to clean his own broom! It had fallen into a dirty puddle, that was a time! But Hanji was a human being and his broom wasn't.

He jumped from the bridge, shooting out a web to grab Hanji and another to the bridge. Hanji opened her eyes to find she was no longer falling, she felt a strong arm around her waist and found that her short, mysterious hero Spider Man was there.

"You saved me?!" Levi's face was solemn.

"Yes, I guess no matter how you look at it, there's just no way that I could've saved you both."

"You mean you actually had to contemplate first?"

"Shut up! I saved you didn't I?" Hanji huffed and let him take her to solid ground.

"Well thanks, Spider Man. How can I ever repay you?"

"You can get me a new broom if you'd like and some disinfectant, the ones that smell so much you'd think you're in a hospital."

"What about a kiss?"

"No, I'm not a man that would gladly take such a thing from a woman. Unless she's willing to get me the things first." Hanji huffed again and crossed her arms.

"Fine, then a kiss?"

Levi said nothing, turned and swung on his webs into the night.


	3. Chapter 3

Connie was overlooking the vast ocean as the Titanic cruised through the waves. He couldn't believe he was actually here on this ship. A voice averted his attention, he turned, it was Sasha.

"Hey, I changed my mind and anyway they've run out of potatoes, I made a bit of a fuss and they kicked me out of the kitchen."

"A bit of a fuss? I bet you raised hell." Sasha pouted.

"OI, It's there fault for not being properly stocked. What kind of ship is this anyway?" Connie shook his head. "Anyway, what did you want, am I here for a reason?" Connie smiled.

"Come here." He held out his hand and Sasha took it.

"Listen, I want you to step up here." He pointed to the rail.

"Why? It's a little dangerous."

"Do you trust me?" Sasha looked apprehensive, but nodded.

"Yes."

"Then step up." He helped her up then stepped behind her. "Close your eyes." She did as she was told. Connie took both her hands in his and spread out their arms. "OK, open your eyes." Sasha did so and gasped.

"I'm flying! Connie, I'm flying!" She grinned and laughed.

"Not so bad, is it potato girl?" Connie snickered, Sasha was not amused.

"What did you call me?" Connie stopped snickering.

"Nothing, it was a joke." He rested his hands on her waist.

"Oh no, I don't think so!" Sasha took hold of Connie's arm and chucked him over board.

"SASHA!" Connie screamed as he fell into the icy depths.

"Don't think you could get away with that!" Sasha screamed at him. Connie emerged spluttering.

"What's wrong with you? It was a joke, this is totally uncalled for!" Sasha stuck out her tongue and marched off. "SASHA! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME! GET HELP! MAN OVER BOARD!" Connie's screaming subsided when he felt a tremble through the water. It became more and more violent as the waves crashed together. Connie was lifted high and brought down with a crash back onto the boat. He was glad to be back when a giant eruption came from the ocean. A giant wave crashed into the side of the boat knocking everyone on board off their feet. The water that splashed onto Connie's face was hot and steam blocked his vision. "What the fuck!?"

Once the steam cleared he looked up, fear dominated him. A being standing in the middle of the ocean, looked down on him from it's colossal height. Sasha came running back outside.

"CONNIE!" she ran to his side. "Yo, Connie. This is probably a bad time, but I just thought of something." Connie looked at her.

"What?" She smirked.

"Titan-ic" Connie gaped at her, the burst out laughing.

"Nice." Their laughing had attracted the attention of the Titan. It looked at the fools and swiped them.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" They screamed in unison. Sasha had managed to avoid the swipe, but was holding on for dear life onto it's arm. Connie was in it's grasp. The Titan let go, but before he could fall into the giants mouth Sasha grabbed his hand. He was now in Sasha's grasp, hovering over The Titan's gaping jaws.

"I'll never let go, Connie!" Both hands were sweaty, Connie started to slip. "Hold On!"

"I am! Holy Shit!" Connie was holding on by his finger tips, Sasha's hand lost it's grip.

"NNNNOOOOOOOO!"

"YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER LET GOOOOOOO!" Connie fell.

(Celine Dion's "My heart will go on" starts to play.")

End Scene.


End file.
